The Snark Level is Almost too High in This Entry

So no matter how crappy my job search was going, how many times I was rejected (too many, and that's all I'll say) I had that hope that the Foreign Service would pick me up. It kind of was my Plan B, and I KNEW it wasn't likely, but that hope was important, though tiny. It was like "well, I'm getting rejected for these bad jobs, but I might end up with something EVEN BETTER!" And today I present to you my translation of my rejection from the Foreign Service into dating language. I figure, I feel like I'm being dumped, so yeah, here's the blow-by-blow of a personally impersonal rejection of yours truly (their writing is written like this, and my interpretation like this):

Dear APPLICANT
Hey, chick
The QEP has completed its review of the files for the Foreign Service Officer candidates who passed the FSOT in June 2009.
I was totally going through my facebook last night to see what chats I'd missed.
A comprehensive review of your file does not allow us to continue your candidacy to the next step of the FS selection process, the Oral Assessment.
And after checking you out, I gotta say, I can't even imagine going out with you...seriously, dude.
Passing the FSOT and having your file reviewed by the QEP is already an achievement, however. Thousands take the test annually, but the number of candidates advanced to the QEP review is much smaller.
At least you got on my friends list...more than I can say for some broads. Applicants may reapply to take the FSOT only after approximately a year has elapsed since they last took the test.
If we run into each other like...in a while, that might be cool, whatever...
The selection process is very competitive and many candidates apply more than once.
...but don't get your hopes up or nothin.

We thank you for your interest in foreign affairs and wish you success in the future.
Nice try though!


Seriously, though, Board of Whatever You Call It, and I'll say it in German so it's slightly less offensive (you'll remember, I listed on my application that I spoke FLUENT GERMAN, but I mean, that didn't seem too important to you)

LECK' MICH!

Y'all acted like a pack of D-bags...

^^^This is y'all^^^