Monday, November 24, 2008

An Open Letter to the Cheese-Heads of Germany

Dear Germany,

I have something to tell you...


So it's cold outside and I have a hankering for grilled cheese (yumm-o!), and I was going Christmas shopping for everyone (I think you'll all soon agree I'm a NINJA at that), so I figured I could go to KaDeWe, the biggest EVERYTHING EXPENSIVE AND WEIRD STORE EVER.

Let me tell you, Americans, we think we're bad with our malls and culture of consumerism, but KaDeWe is proof that Germans can be just as bad; the place was packed to the gills. But I fought my way past the Burberry bags and 18,000 threat-count sheets to the foods floor. It's like Central Market up there or something, totally wild. Anything you can think of is there, including

which I did NOT buy, because I needed to make sure ginger ale was getable to go with it...which it is, but will at a later date, rest assured. Anyway, I mosey up to the cheese counter and ask for some cheddar, and the guy just looks at me. He says, "We only have white cheddar. I trust that is sufficient." No! I can't make a grilled cheese sandwich with WHITE cheddar...that's simply not acceptable for reasons I can't quite articulate, but it just isn't.

"Do you have any orange cheddar?"
Look of complete disdain and perhaps confusion. "No."

For those concerned Wisconsinites out there, I did find some Cheddar at Kaisers that was to specification, so this story has a happy ending, but SERIOUSLY, GERMANY?!?! It's like one of the only cheeses we can manage to do right in America, and if you're going to be pushing our sodas, our white bread, and our other stuff, why not throw a little love Cheddar's way?

Nommily yours,

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