The Revolution Will Come with Alan Wrenches

So I needed to get some things to make my life here a little less crazy:

one box for letters, concert pamphlets, whatever
one small rug so my chairs don't scrape the floor (dang it, I'm getting my deposit back)
a few folders/paper holders for my papers
a lint roller

Where, I ask, can you get such things?


IKEA

So I went off early on a Saturday morning to hit that sucker before she filled up. Happily enough, it's only 2 bus stops away from my house (yay!), and I was stoked for a breakfast. It was 9:45, who was going to be there?

Folks, I tell you now, it was crazier than the Evanston Target the day of freshmen move in at Northwestern. I went up to get some breakfast and BEDLAM! Apparently the cheap nature of IKEA breakfast coupled with its yumminess and being one of the few places in this country with free coffee refills has made it a hot ticket...for large groups of Germans to go...together.

Big groups of Germans running around spending un-German amounts of money

Worth standing in line for 30 minutes and being crammed in with people of questionable hygiene? I clearly think so

I got my waffle, mixed berries with vanilla sauce, and coffee (the breakfast here is different than in the states, though they're both supposed to be equally swedish...wrhuh?), and I sat down to identify the types of people showing up there.

1. Paerchens (little pairs)- Jon tells me IKEA breaks these couples up quicker than anything: first, you have to wake up EARLY, then pick a piece of furniture that suits both tastes, then go find it in the cavernous store, then drag your new Billy unit home, and then by the time it's assembled, they're changing their facebook status back to "Single."


2. Groups- usually these are large and crazy. Someone is moving and has harrangued their friends to help them pick things out. This leads usually to lots of joking around the bed and toilet areas.



3. Clueless b-stards- me...and old people...wondering why the line is so long with bags so weighted down their frail (or half-awake in my case) bodies nearly fall.

At my table sat a massive family, everyone from grandpa to grandchildren, but there were no single tables...unlike the IKEAs in the states, which apparently we aren't filling properly.

My time with them lasted a blessed 4 minutes (till I could chug the coffee without being burned), and then I had to wade into the fray, but I came out victorious and wanting very much to go home and take a nap, my short excursion stretching from a planned lean hour and 15 to 2, but let me say people, lookin for hannukah decorations? IKEA WILL HOOK YOU UP IN A MOST SURPRISING WAY!

Phil is in town now, having arrived in what I can only call a sleepwalking state. We watched The Fall and successfully managed stir fry and spring rolls without setting the place on fire. Not wanting to test my luck we're eating out for the rest of his stay!