Monday, April 20, 2009

RCMCT: A Tale of a Murderous Spaniard

I wouldn't dream of linking to an NYT article, since they charge you money, but if one were to wander over to their Travel section, one would find an article on how classy hostels are getting, how they once were sketchy but now are modern, fashionable accommodations, and this is totally true. What the author neglects to mention is the dorm accommodations pt you in contact with...special people. In our room there was a Spaniard, who'd been on my bus from Berlin, a Japanese design student, a German on a driving tour, and a girl I think was American. This is pretty average I'd say for a hostel, lots of young internationals out to make friends, have some drinks.

The spirit of cameraderie lasted only until midnight though, when the very short Japanese guy began SAWING LOGS. Everyone heard it; no one could sleep; we were all mad. I thought it was Klaus, till I yelled "MENSCH!" and heard an equally annoyed "Was?!" Then maybe Diego...till I heard strong language from his bunk. Phil was shifting uncomfortably; it had to be coming from that guy, and it lasted until 3AM!! Every now and then he'd stop for a few seconds and the room would get nicely quiet, but then it would start up again and be followed by loud grumbles from all the others. I tried at one point to turn up my iPod to drown it out or something, but the tenacious guy actually snored LOUDER THAN MY iPOD...and not even in rhythm with it.

I awkwardly brought it up the next morning, while he was in the shower. "Did y'all--um--hear something last night?" Diego yelled, "I was ABOU' TO KEEL HEEM!" Ok, I wasn't the only one. I shared that I'd thought it was Klaus, and I'd hesitated to say anything because he looked like he could beat me up, but I was pretty sure I could take the littler one, should he get feisty. "I SWEAR TO G-D, I WENT TO SLEEP IN DE CORRIDOR!" Diego kept yelling.

So the next night I had a plan: I went to bed with a pad of paper on the mattress. Sure thing, the cartoonishly loud snoring stated up again, but I had a plan this time. I quietly ripped out a sheet, crumpled it nice and tight, and--using my best softball alum skills--I threw the paper at where I assumed his head was in the dark.

It's not UNLIKE those 3 Navy SEALS who took out those pirates in the dark of night (USA! USA!). Like them, I too hit my target with the use of my skills and to great effect! He snorted once, and then rolled over and promptly stopped snoring.


THESE COLORS DON'T RUN (said in Texan accent)

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