Saturday, September 27, 2008

Don't Show Fear in Front of the Monkeys

So, as an assistant, I'm NEVER supposed to be in a room full of kids on my own. In principle, who knows what kind of crazy stuff us Americans would do...maybe give the kids DETENTION (GHASP!). Flash forward to Friday morning, when Ulli, an English teacher for 9th graders, had booked me to give a presentation to his kids, mostly though to chat with them, like an interview with an American. That's when this starts:

8:45- First bell rings...where's Ulli? Do I wait in the teacher's lounge, or do I go to his room? I'll wait here.

8:50- Shoot! He's not here. Maybe I'm supposed to meet him at the classroom. OH NO! He's there waiting for me!

8:53- Class time begins, no Ulli, I talk about their upcoming weekends as a warmup/time filler. WHERE ON EARTH IS ULLI?!? WHAT IF THIS CLASS GETS OUT OF CONTROL!? I'm not supposed to be here.

9:05- Ok, so no Ulli yet, and we're talking about people's birthdays. I should start a lesson. What? You're studying poetry you say? Not anymore! We're talking about the American elections!!

9:10- Hey, they're listening! I need to write something on the board, but Ulli has the pens for the whiteboard. WHERE IS HE?! Kid in the front row, go get him!

9:20- Kid is back, no Ulli. DAMN! Are we in the wrong room? Don't show weakness, pretend this is supposed to happen. Oh it cool.

9:21- Hey, that kid's talking. "Yeah, you're chatting. Can you tell us what the word 'constitution' means in German? Can anyone help him?" PWND!

9:25- OMG! THERE'S ULLI! He must be so mad. I bet he was looking for me the whole time, and I've basically hijacked his class. He looks in a rush. He's been rushing to try to find me and then he'll kill me.

9:26- Oh, his bike broke on the way to school and he missed his train, but his cellphone didn't work? Ok. Yay...kinda.

9:27- Oh, he's not going to contribute to the class, just sitting there? Oh...ok.

9:30- Students approach me to chat about how they like me. No thanks from Ulli...whatever.

I win at teaching! I didn't die and it was only my first week of teaching at this school! Go me!!!

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